Speed up & slow down the day

Finally getting the chance to have that threesome with Megan Fox and Kate Upton and want it to last as long as possible?

Did you know that you have the power to speed up or slow down the day yourself?

No, I’m not talking about time travel, that’s impossible (that will be the next post).

Everyone knows that the Earth spins, that’s what gives us our day and night cycle. What many don’t realize is that the Earth spins at an incredibly fast speed, a mere 1,650km an hour. What you don’t know is the farther you’re away from the center of a mass spinning, when you’re gravitationally pulled towards it and spin with it, you spin slower than the equatorial speed.

$#%! Jeff, what the heck did you just say?

Go run to the bathroom, and flush the toilet. Look at the hopefully empty bowl and the water spinning down the drain. The water near the center of the swirl is spinning slightly faster than the water at the edge of the bowl. This is called the Coriolis effect, and it takes place on ANY object spinning in anything but a vacuum, which means it happens everywhere since even Space isn’t a complete vacuum (contrary to popular belief). On Earth, it happens in multiple areas. It’s currently happening in the molten center of our planet, and it’s happening in our atmosphere.

Jeff.. how the heck does this slow down or speed up time for me!? Kate is on her way over to my place!!

Well, it’s simple.. Ask Arnold Schwarzenegger.. he’ll tell you to GET DOWN! GET DAAWWWWWNNNNN ARGGUUGHHH!! or something along those lines. It’s true, if you simply lie down right now, wherever you are, you will speed up the Earths rotation, speeding up the day making it go by faster. By how much? not much, it’s nearly zero. It’s actually one quintillionth of a billionth of a nano second faster, but the second you move to get back up, it slows back down regulating itself. If you forever stayed on the ground, yes, it would permanently speed up with the additional mass, but in 2.5 billion years (when Earth is crispy BBQ’ed from an expanding sun) you’d have only added less than one minute to our calendar year, but we have other things to worry about in 2.5 billion years. Excluding the expanding sun turning into a red giant and engulfing our planet, we would be an heliosynchronous orbit with the sun, meaning one side of Earth would be facing the sun at all times, and the other side would be in perpetual darkness. Specifically, the Atlantic ocean will be in direct sunlight, along with parts of China, Japan, the west coast of North America extending into South America. Russia and Europe will be forever dark.

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